I hate and am sick of

People suggesting I declare bankruptcy to solve my issues with hospital debt.

That being said, I got my bill yesterday in the mail. $47,004.91 for my pleurodesis. My mom had a radical hysterectomy 14 years ago (in 1997…I suddenly feel really old…) and that cost her ²/₃ of that. Her bill, to have an 8 hour surgery to remove her cancer and all of her lady-bits cost $32,000, while having the outside of my lung scuffed up cost $15,000 more? Sorry, that just doesn’t make much sense to me.

If anyone feels like getting indignant about me being angry about my bill costing more than a cancer-removal bill, my mom feels the same way I do, and it was her cancer being removed.

Back to my main point, that being declaring bankruptcy, so many people have suggested – willy-nilly, mind you – that I do so just to absolve my hospital bills. Two things pass through my mind immediately after hearing/seeing those words, and I shall dramatically reenact them with ragefaces:

Quickly followed by:

Reason being; I already have shit credit. I know, I know, you’re not really supposed to talk about your credit, but whatever. My credit is shit, because of the $20,000 I already owed the hospital from a few years ago, as well as a $1,000 debt to SunTrust from a few years ago, so if I declared bankruptcy, I’d be fucked for pretty much the rest of my life.

Now, the person of whom I’m speaking, the one who just suggested bankruptcy to me, she suggested this just after I mentioned that I am one notarized sheet of paper away from this: http://www.browardhealth.org/news/?sid=2&nid=648

Now, if you actually read through that, good for you. If you also understood it, pretty fucking sweet, eh? If you didn’t under stand it, you see you it says “charity” quite a lot in there? Well, the entire system is basically like this:

Me: “I have no money, oh noes!”

Government Man (Come from the Government): “That is not a problem!” (reaches into community chest/tax pile and pulls out a wad of money) “Here is enough money to pay off your last six months of hospital bills!” (hands wad of happy-paper to hospital)

So, a one time use free lunch/get out of jail free card, basically. Yeah, it comes out of community taxes, but that’s why I’d do my damnedest to make sure that it’s a one time thing.

So after I mentioned that I’m one notarized sheet of paper away from said out-of-jail-free card, she suggests bankruptcy.

Yes. I am going to fuck myself up for the rest of my life when I have the possibility of paying off almost everything I have ever owed to this hospital. I’ve already been told that if I can pay a lump-sum of $800, then my old debt from a few years ago will be taken care of in total and I won’t owe anything more for it. So, if I can get this one sheet of paper notarized and handed into the hospital along with $800, I’m home free with my grand spanking total of around $68,000 GONE.

YES. LET ME DECLARE BANKRUPTCY THIS INSTANT.

I reiterate:

Quickly followed by:

Beware the grammar, Nazis are coming

Something that irks the living hell out of me is the improper use of grammar. I have a tendency to actually, involuntarily twitch when I read, “alot” and “someone that”. Today, we’re going to focus on “only” and “just”. Apparently the proper use of these words has fallen into some dark abyss somewhere and only the most hardy grammar adventurers know how.

When using words such as “only” or “just”, it should be placed before the number or action you’re about to quote. So instead of saying, “I only got one hour of sleep”, you should say, “I got only one hour of sleep”. To say you “only got one hour” would translate to something like GETTING the time, but nothing else. So, maybe you were given that hour, yes, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you slept in that hour.

BUT THEN, OF COURSE, there’s the point of using the verb “to get” in place of other, proper verbs. In this instance, we can replace “I got only one hour of sleep” with “I slept for only one hour”, thereby using less words, being more correct with proper grammar and syntax and coming off as entirely more intelligent, even if you really are not.

Another example – “I only jumped once” versus “I jumped only once”. The former implies that I jumped, but did nothing more. The latter implies that, while I may have done other things any number of times, the number of times I jumped was just once.