Topic: The Use of Rhetoric to Obscure Lack of Topic

Ten point to whoever knows the source of the title.

I’ve been feeling a bit down as of late, and I’m really not sure why. It’s possible that it’s because I don’t have a job and therefore no money. It’s also possible that I don’t get to hang out with friends as much as I’d like. It could very well be that I don’t go out much.

For the entire time I was in Australia, I went out with the intention of having a good time with friends probably no more than twenty times. I got used to not doing anything. Then, when I worked at the hospital, I worked 9 hour days for most days of the week. This isn’t to say that my days were 9 hours, no. My WORK day was 4 1/2 hours. So was my daily commute there and back. I became used to the few minutes I had before jumping on the train being the time I took to hang out with people. Mainly one guy, a store owner named John, who was possibly the coolest guy I met while in Australia. I missed the train a few times while talking to him. It was okay, though, because there was another one only fifteen minutes after that one which would still get me to work on time.

Then, when I got to work, I had about half an hour to hang out, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and generally waking up from the train ride before work.

Work was fun enough, even if it was the most uncomfortable job I ever did have. I had to bring food to the patients and collect the garbage from tea and dinner. My main problem with that job was going out into the wards for the collection and handing out. I was also the dishwasher and I helped to prepare the patients food trays. That was a harrowing experience in itself, because if a cardiac patient had a packet of salt on their tray, it could have caused them to have another heart attack. So many patients had such specific diets that it was a daily memory test to make up the trays.

Another thing that made me dislike the job was that nobody in the kitchen, except for one of the chefs, had ANY organization at all. We had seven trays for the dirty dishes and two of them had flat bottoms. You know the ones – they’re usually used for silverware (CUTLERY, as one coworker heatedly corrected me one day) when you don’t have the trays with the cup-things. Anyway, I had a system which I used to help me work quickly and efficiently. All of the trays used for the plates and whatnot faced a certain direction and were grouped together, while the flat trays faced the other direction and were placed farther away from me, since I never used them. I don’t like those trays, because you can’t really organize anything on them. If you try, it’s more of an exercise in futility than getting anything done. Anyway, long story short, I would come into work every day to find these trays placed sporadically all over the kitchen with only two or three of them on the actual rack – all facing in any direction and grouped however the hell the person wanted to. I explained to people who washed with me how I set it up, and all of them remarked how much faster everything went when they used my system for the trays. None of them, except for one very nice lady who I helped to train. That’s probably the only reason she kept my systems going, because I taught her to utilize them.

The next bout of disorganization came from where we placed the clean dishes. We had a trolley we used to store them when things were piling up, which was most of the time, and occasionally someone would empty it. Well, I had a system there, an extremely neat and space efficient system, which saved a lot of time and effort on everyone else’s part. I won’t bore you with how I set everything up, but let’s just look at a basic verbal chart: Without my system, you could fit maybe two or three trays – four TOPS – on this trolley. With my system, I could fit two whole dinner TROLLEYS worth of trays. Now, that doesn’t really tell you anything, considering you don’t know how many trays fit on the trolleys. the magic number of trays per trolley? TWENTY-FOUR. That’s right, with my system, I could fit FORTY-EIGHT trays worth of dishes on my trolley.

Did anyone even attempt to follow my systems?


Even though it was as easy as throwing everything randomly about the kitchen, it saved time, it saved space, it WORKED.

Oh, well. I did get a few good stories out of that place, as well as an almost-lawsuit. Lots of threats, lots of anger, lots of…well, let’s just stick with threats and anger. But, lots of stories as well.


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